HER

There’s blood on my hands.

It’s dark red and thick, just like all the others, but unlike them, it never comes off.

No matter how many times I scrub my hands, it doesn’t budge, all red and angry and a reminder of what I’ve done.

I pause from washing my hands (for the twentieth time) to look at her. She looks still, perhaps too still.

I walk over to her and check her wrist, then her neck. Nothing.

I look down at my hands. Still red.

Fuck.

My vision blurs, face heating up, as I walk back to the sink to try again.

What happens if a prince gets killed? What will they do to me?

Maybe they’ll kill me. Maybe I’ll be placed in hell for a few days. Maybe they’ll… no. No.

My throat constricts with that last thought. My mother would have a fit.

But what if she wouldn’t? What if she–

My nose is running and I can’t see anything but the blood. I stumble away from the sink and without thinking I turn and it’s-

Shit. Shit.

Her laughter rings in my ears, bouncing off my skull. Her singsong voice in my head. It’s all high against my thudding heartbeat.

I shouldn’t have hurt her. I shouldn’t have.

But I did.

Maybe she deserved it- no, no, maybe I’m just too fucked up - but I hit her. I was so angry at her.

All she did was make a damn joke. A bad one at my expense, but any normal- my throat is closing up- person wouldn’t have been so angry. Wouldn’t have hit her as she laughed. Laughed in that goddamn way that sirens can, voices too high and grating. Laughed like an act, revealing the threat that was lying beneath her mask of a face.

Fuck, I don’t even hate her. I had no goddamn reason to try to kill her. Nothing but a sick laugh that made me want to crawl into a hole.

That and her words. That was justifiable, not for death, but at least for getting so mad, right?

Damnit. I felt her nose break beneath my fist, with blood pouring down my hand, and I’m talking about how it was justifiable?

I feel so damn nauseous.

I stare at her and her last words come back to my head.

Shit, I’ll be the only one who knows those this time.

It was after I had beaten her up. She looked at me, with those emotionless eyes, and grinned. “I think I’m getting a little dizzy!”

Then her eyes widened, and she fell back too hard on the tile.

I look down at my hands again, and my vision blurs once more, tears running down my cheeks.

I sense around for my soulbound, but I can’t find him. Fuck, he’s the only one who might understand.

I walk back to the sink, and open the cabinet. Maybe using something else will get the blood off.

My vision keeps blurring in and out. In and out. I can’t even goddamn breathe anymore.

Suddenly, there’s the sound of heavy footsteps behind me and I turn, my heart leaping into my throat.

It’s a man with white hair and red eyes. Grimm. My heart pounds. He’s her soulbound. He’d be the worst.

Fuck fuck FUCK.

He kneels beside her for a second before looking at me.

It takes me a second before I realize he’s grinning.

“You really thought you did it, huh?”